Good News, Bad News

When everything’s going right, you’re probably going to assume you’re about to die.  Or maybe your husband is going to die.  Or your baby will take a joy ride in your car with your cats and won’t be able to operate a manual very easily (short legs/arms) and they’ll total it and your cats will need their paws amputated. 

This is because if everything is going so well something must be about to go wrong. 

Well, guess what.  Something is in the process of going terribly wrong, the horrible - all humans will die - kind of wrong. 

For my fellow followers of Science Daily News (www.sciencedaily.com), this blog will come as no surprise to you.  In fact, you probably already wrote this blog and now you’re in the process of sending me the paw of a dead puppy because you think  I’m plagiarizing you.  I’m going to start off by saying, easy now – this is nothing to kill a puppy over.. and now I’m going to go back to why we should all fear for our lives.

Thin Air: Oxygen Atmosphere Found on Saturn's Moon Rhea

Saturn: The Planet

 

ScienceDaily (Nov. 30, 2010) — NASA's Cassini spacecraft has detected a very tenuous atmosphere known as an exosphere, infused with oxygen and carbon dioxide around Saturn's icy moon Rhea. This is the first time a spacecraft has directly captured molecules of an oxygen atmosphere -- albeit a very thin one -- at a world other than Earth.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/11/101128222041.htm

This can only mean that (A) Aliens exist, (B) Those aliens need less oxygen than us, (C) They can survive in lower temperatures than us, and (D) They are stronger and probably faster and maybe even prettier than us.  What do A, B, C and D mean?  We are boners.  Goners, I meant we are goners.  But Boner and Goner are just one letter apart, slip of the index finger, I swear. 

Saturn: The Car

  

Hold on though, don’t look so down!  There is an upside.  Your husband may not die in his sleep tonight!  So, you can quite holding onto the front of his shirt while looking at him fearfully, saying, ‘Please, please don’t die, I need you!’ before you go to bed each night. 

And you can probably quit taping your infants to their cribs and cats to the couches because babies would never steal a manual car, it’s almost impossible to light a cigarette, or blunt (depends on the baby) while shifting gears.